Seven Tips for NICU Moms
- Kathleen Ordinario
- 12 minutes ago
- 5 min read
My first experience with the NICU was almost twelve years ago. My sister was pregnant with twin boys, and she ended up have an emergency c-section almost two months early. Ian was 4 pounds and Nicky was 5 pounds one of them needed to be resuscitated at birth. I learned that day the babies that needed the most help were put in the back of the NICU. I remember pushing my sister in her wheelchair to the very back of the NICU and there they were, two tiny boys with tubes placed all over them. Nicky was small but doing pretty well so we were able to take turns holding him. Ian needed some extra attention, so he was put in a full incubator so we could only touch his little hand. Ian and Nicky spent six weeks in the NICU gradually making their way to the front of the room. They will be twelve years old this year and looking at them today one would never know what a scary and rough start they had in life.
Two years later I found myself in the NICU again, same hospital, same doctors only this time it was my son hooked up to the tubes and placed in an incubator. Allan wasn't premature, he was born right on 40 weeks at 7 pounds 9 ounces. Being a full-term baby, he was placed right at the front of the NICU. We were pretty lucky with Allan; he was only in the NICU for three days. But let me tell you, as a first-time mom those were longest three days of my life! I was determined to breastfeed, so I would shuffle down the hospital hallway to the NICU every three hours so I could feed my baby. My husband and I were so relieved when Allan was released, and we could go home as a family of three. Both of these experiences taught me a few things about surviving the NICU and making it as positive a stay as posable.
Seven Tips for NICU Moms:
Feed and change your baby: The NICU nurses feed and change the babies every three hours. Find out your baby's schedule so you can be there while this is happening. If breastfeeding is possible do that, if not then bottle feeding. If your baby has a feeding tube, then simply hold your baby for skin-to-skin contact. Next change that diaper! Ask your nurse to show you the best way to do this, it can be a bit complicated if there are tubes around.
Hold you baby as much as possible: As a mom, (especially a first-time mom) it can be very hard to be separated from your baby. So, hold your baby as much as possible while they are in the NICU. If you are able to, hold them between feedings. Skin to skin contact will sooth both mom and baby. If holding your baby is not possible, holding their hand through the hole in the incubator is still contact even if it's just for a few minutes. If you are not able to touch them at all, sing to you baby. The sound of your voice will bring them comfort.
Have two special lovies for your baby: This one I learned from the NICU nurse. Mom cuddles with a lovey to get her sent on it. Then place it with your baby to sleep with. This will help to keep your baby calm, especially overnight. Mom sleeps with the other lovey and the next day switch them out to keep the sent fresh. I really liked having this connection with my son while he was in the NICU.
Ask questions: Use your phone or a small notebook to take notes. Ask your doctor for updates and advocate for your baby when necessary. Take photos of whiteboards or charts (if allowed). You should feel well informed of your baby's situation.
Celebrate small wins: Depending on your baby's condition, you may be in the NICU for the long hall. If this is the case, focusing on day-to-day sometimes hour by hour progress is essential! Sometimes setbacks happen, that doesn't mean your baby is doing poorly or falling behind. Keep your thoughts positive, small wins matter more than big timelines.
Take care of yourself: You can't be clear headed and take care of your baby if you aren't taking care of yourself! You need to eat nourishing food (not hospital food). You need to stay hydrated, drink electrolytes, pink coconut water or smart water. You need to rest and sleep (without feeling guilty). It's ok to sleep for a few hours or take a shower, your baby is in very good hands. I cannot stress this enough, if you are not taking care of yourself, you won't be able to take of your baby.
Support team: Having a good support team is important during a normal birth but, it becomes essential when your baby is in the NICU. Maybe you have older children or pets at home that will need to be taken care of, or maybe you are a single mom, like my sister. I drove her to hospital every week to see the twins in the NICU. Can someone bring you clean clothing, or a healthy meal while you are at the hospital? Are you a part of a church or do you have some close friends? ask them to set up a meal trin for your family. It's ok to ask for help. In fact, I insist that you do!
If you’re in the NICU right now, I want you to know this, you are already a good mother. The beeping of machines and long walks down hospital hallways may not look like the beginning you imagined, but it is yours. Your baby knows your voice and your touch. They will be comforted simply because you are there. Some days will feel heavy. Some moments will stretch longer than you thought possible. But there will also be small breakthroughs, quiet victories, and unexpected peace woven into the hardest times. One day, you and your baby will walk out of those NICU doors, stronger, and more rooted in love than you ever knew possible. Until then, take it one hour, one visit, one breath at a time. You and your baby are writing your own story. One that starts with courage and ends with hope.
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